I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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