Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
