she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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