U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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