he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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