she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
