Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
