she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
