My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
