That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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