My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
