i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
