Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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