please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
