My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize