K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
