We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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