I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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