ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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