You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize