It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we're making bets on your personal life
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
They took my balls.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
