that's an acceptable place to lick
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
