You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
