plz talk dirty to me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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