He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
