I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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