Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize