whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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