your thong is hanging out like whoa
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
