So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
