I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My feet surprised me
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