im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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