So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
