two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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