in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
