Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
