he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
