Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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