Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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