even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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