WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
