Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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