New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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