Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my sisters under your porch take her home
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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