I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize