saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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