Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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