he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Found the puke drawer
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
