I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
