this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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