She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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