yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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