I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
