The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
