Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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