Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
