Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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