can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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