Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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