3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
