i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
