I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
