she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
