I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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