I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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