If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He shit in the fireplace
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