Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
