You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
