Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize