Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm just crazy horny about you
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
