dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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