Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just want nice things and good sex
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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